Body Language

Posted on 02/18/2010 by admin

Whoever spent time as a child on a school playground and been the victim of name calling knows the deflective phrase used to counter those slurs, “sticks and stones may break my bones but names can never hurt me,” isn’t enough to overcome the impact of those bullying communications to youthful, developing ears.

The messages young children hear in those early years often become part of their psychological makeup for years to come, and sometimes lead to visits to therapists as adults.

This is just one example of the power of words. Words are powerful, very powerful. Words are much more powerful than an old, worn out, and just plain inaccurate communication model proclaims.

What has become known as the Mehrabian Myth espouses that “words” only amount to 7% of the meaning of a communicated message, leaving tone and body language making up 93% of that message’s meaning.

If you’ve ever done any sales training or leadership communication training since 1972 you’ve probably learned the communication model about which I am writing. It’s the model that shows the three key components of any communication and the respective contribution each proclaims to bring to the meaning of any message:

  • Verbal (words) = 7%
  • Vocal (tone) = 38%
  • Visual (body language) = 55%

If this were to be true I could have attended Carmen at the Metropolitan Opera in New York City as I did last November, and understood 93% of the plot and the individual character’s stories without reading the subtitles on the screen in front of me. I couldn’t. Neither could you.

Words are tremendously important.

Yet this communication model, which began in 1967 with two psychological studies reported in the Journal of Consulting Psychology and the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, respectively, and was loosely reinforced in 1971 by research conducted and reported by Professor Albert Mehrabian, Ph.D. of UCLA in two books he published titled Silent Messages and Nonverbal Communications.

These studies are not the culprit of the misguided applied meaning of this research. If the research and related commentary is reviewed one learns that these studies never proclaimed their findings were to be broadly applied to general and regular communication in all situations between human beings.

It seems the more accurate meaning of this research has been usurped and twisted so often, by so many sources; it is impossible to identify the genesis of this skewed meaning. One of the big perpetrators is the NLP industry (Neuro-Linguistic Programming, a philosophy and model for personal and professional transformation effectively used in the coaching and personal development industry), of which I am a member.

I used to teach this 7%-38%-55% communication model, although never truly felt comfortable with it. Amazingly, audiences never challenged me on it and continued to buy it. Even reinforcing the model telling me how important body language is to the meaning of a message.

I’m not arguing that body language and the visual component of a communication is not important. And, based on my personal experience I truly believe that tone may even be more important that body language.

What I’m espousing is that the Mehrabian Myth model places too much importance on body language and tone. What is needed is a model that will more accurately reflect the attention that people on both sides of any communication can feel comfortable applying so there are fewer mis-communications in the world.

In my white paper titled, The 7 Deadliest Sins of Leadership & Workplace Communication, I stress the importance of specific communication. A “Lack of Specificity” is one of those 7 Deadliest Sins. One of keys to specific communication is to be certain our communication is congruent between the verbal, the vocal and the visual components.

Congruency doesn’t necessarily mean equal. Congruency means the appropriate level of each to accurately get the message across. The most important thing to remember in terms of this model is that it really all starts with “words.”

I’d like to propose a new model and a new way to look at this that is totally unscientific but comes from many years of being a human being communicating with these three components daily, and as a business coach and consultant regularly working with business leaders and their teams to improve communication every day.

That new model would look like this:

  • Verbal (words) = 50%
  • Vocal (tone) = 30%
  • Visual (body language) = 20%

This model gives significant and appropriate weight to words because words can inspire, words can motivate, words can de-motivate and words can destroy. It also offers appropriate emphasis to the other two key components.

Anthony Robbins, one of the most well known motivational coaches in the world offers a communication philosophy called “Transformational Vocabulary.” He teaches the power of changing the negative, hurtful words we use in our self-talk into empowering, positive words that will make us, and others, feel better and be motivating. A simple example is shifting the word “problem” to “situation,” “challenge” or even “opportunity.” He teaches this because words matter.

Tone and body language matter, too, just not as much as the Mehrabian Myth has mistakenly promised us for the past four decades.

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Women Start Businesses in Record Numbers in 2009

Posted on 01/29/2010 by admin

The United States has produced many women making it to the top and becoming successful leaders. This is despite the fact that the environment these women grew up in might not have facilitated their direct access to the business world or provided these women role models in which to emulate. Nevertheless, many women have managed to learn enough about conducting a business and leading a team through education and mentoring.

Although in most cases women are still the ones who manage the household and would not normally have the time that running a business requires, many have set their priorities straight and have successfully entered the business world. Recent statistics show that women are starting businesses in record numbers and bringing significant changes to an environment which, not too long ago, seemed to be structured primarily for men and their ways of thinking and working.

Until recently, very few women have managed to succeed as business leaders. Be it for the disturbing lack of flexibility, men’s solidarity in business or women’s lack of confidence in their skills and abilities as leaders, the reality is that not many women have succeeded to in leadership roles. Moreover, in the absence of any grants from government agencies, women have to turn to private and non-profit organizations for assistance in starting a business. And, unfortunately, such grants often address minority women or women that come from economically disadvantaged communities. In spite of a nationwide network of programs and centers that offer business training, assistance and educational resources specifically for women, the actual business opportunities women are presented with are not too numerous.

Despite all these major drawbacks, what we are witnessing today in the business world is something that many would consider surprising, to say the least. Things are changing and evolving rapidly to an unprecedented presence for women in the business environment. Statistics show that over 23 million people in the United States (approximately 16% of the workforce) are now employed by women-owned businesses. This is almost double the number of employees that the biggest fifty companies in the U.S. have altogether. In addition to this, women-owned businesses generate $3 trillion in revenue and are tantamount to the fifth-largest gross domestic product on a global scale.

The first question that comes to mind is “Why are women starting their own businesses?” The most obvious reason would have to be “Because they want to be financially independent.” We all know that depending on someone else for everything you need, from the food you put on the table and the clothes you wear to going on vacation or buying gifts for the holidays can be frustrating at times. All women feel the need to indulge themselves on their whims every now and then, and not all of them have the chance to do so, as long as they depend on someone else for money.

Of course, it’s not a question of housewife versus business leader. Women are now almost half of the nation’s workforce, which means that most of them have a steady income source and are able to provide for themselves and their families. But this is not the kind of financial independence I’m talking about. I am referring to the cashflow that a profitable business can generate, to no longer depending on a monthly paycheck and to not being forced to give up on many of your wishes and ideals. And if we take into account the fact that a woman’s average salary is around 75 percent of that of a man’s, it makes all the more sense for women to consider owning a business.

Could it be that women business owners saw a challenge in starting their own businesses and being successful like so many men before them? This too is a plausible reason. Now that equality between sexes is no longer an issue (except for maybe some remote parts of the world), women have the opportunity to prove that they are just as capable as men when it comes to setting up and fueling the growth of a profitable business. Many have succeeded and a lot more are attempting to.

Flexibility at their workplace and family-friendly benefits are yet another reason why women are considering business ownership. It is very difficult for a working mom to find the perfect balance between family life and career. Very few companies allow for family leaves or sick days, and even fewer provide their employees with high quality childcare. It is only natural that women try to relieve these burdens and attempt to set up an environment where such benefits would no longer be an issue. Given the minuses of the current employment market, it is safe to say that many women have chosen to start a business as a lifestyle choice. Everyone would like to have the flexibility that comes with being self-employed. Under these circumstances, there is little wonder why the number of women-owned businesses has seen such an astounding growth over recent years.

As I stated earlier, most women are the managers of their household and families. Statistics show that approximately three quarters of the decisions regarding purchases for the household are made by women. And in most cases, they do a great job managing everything around the house. Many women have decided to take a step forward and use this innate talent or acquired skill of juggling multiple tasks simultaneously, with the purpose of running a business of their own. The number of women starting businesses nowadays is almost three times the rate of men. Whatever the reasons for this growth may be, I am certain of one thing-we should all welcome this rise in the number of women-owned businesses for several reasons.

For one, women are more oriented towards communication than men and more likely to build stronger relationships with everyone around them, including the people they work with. Women feel the need to be part of a community more than men do, and a working community led by a woman is therefore more likely to be based on friendship and support.

Moreover, in most cases, women-owned businesses are closer to the kind of company that respects its employees’ needs. All the benefits I was mentioned earlier (sick leaves, daycare and family leaves) are more likely to be found in women-owned businesses.

All in all, not everyone might think that the days of women as housewives are long gone, but the statistics beg to differ. Women start businesses in such record numbers that it is safe to say that women-owned businesses will play a major part in the recovery of the economy.

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Rationale

Posted on 01/21/2010 by admin

When other kids were playing games, Susan Griffiths and Hayley Keane were playing the game of business. Both Susan and Hayley are serial entrepreneurs with over 18 years of experience, who have a passion for assisting women business owners with the know-how they need to be successful business leaders, running profitable and fulfilling companies.

They first met in 1989 when Hayley worked at Susan’s company as a consultant. They found that there was fantastic synergy between them and their complimentary skills set them apart from their competition. Hayley and Susan remained close friends and allies over the years, supporting and collaborating with one another throughout their different endeavors.

As CEO’s of their own companies they know the challenges of controlling a business and the multi-tasking nature of actions required. The need for prompts and correct decisions, keeping up with market conditions, problem solving by thinking beyond what is immediately apparent, creating the right kind of growth, and to learn the business of growing a business, just to name a few.

They also know that all too often it can feel lonely and isolated in your own business. Given the choice, women CEO’s would rather meet these challenges in collaboration with others. That’s why Fusion Works Alliance was formed – by women business owners for women business owners.

Since opening in 2008 we have had many requests not only for business tips and resources but also for leisure time as well and so we have expanded our original concept to include some of those things that we think you’ll love to do in your downtime as well as in your professional lives.

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Body Language

Posted on 08/21/2009 by admin

Are You Loosing Prospects From Your Body Language?

Improve your body language, improve your confidence!

The way that you move your body and walk has an enormous effect on the way that you feel and your confidence levels. Real estate agents will be able to monitor their prospects body language and know first hand how to approach them. This is also a great tool to learn for appointment and open house safety.

Real Estate Agents are being torn into so many different directions. Learning how your prospects think and act will benefit you in sales and safety! That is a fact!

Lets start with an exercise | Imagine there are two people standing in front of you – one with “negative body language” and one with “positive body language”.

I’d now like you to write down what you are observing with each of these people.

Positive Body Lang. Negative Body Lang.
How are they standing?

Where are their eyes looking?

Where have they got their head?

How are they talking?

How are they moving?

You know, how you feel at any moment in time is linked to what is going on in your head and how you are moving your body. The way that you move sends subconscious messages to your mind and this either helps or hinder the way that you feel.

Emotion is created by motion. If you sit still for a long period of time your natural energy levels automatically lower. And what happens when you get up, walk around and return to your seat?

Yes, you have more energy and you’re given a boost.

I can’t stress how important it is to move and act confidently and positively.

You will give off all the right vibes to everyone around you and it will make them think that you are confident even if you’re not feeling it inside.

Yes, that’s right. Even if you’re not feeling confident, act as though you are.
So, you may be saying….Dawn how the heck do I do this?

Well,
* Walk fast and with a purpose
* Don’t saunter along
* Walk like you know exactly where you are going and when you get there you mean business!
* Gesture with your hands as you talk, it will create motion and you know what that leads to – EMOTION!
* All it takes is a smile!

The right gestures also have a major impact on building rapport.
Think for a moment about your confidence role model. Who could you silently look up and see confidence?
One thing that he/she and confident people in general have in common is that they all probably smile a lot and are happier than their negative counterparts. It may sound silly, but there is a lot of power associated with a smile.

What I would like you to do is to start smiling more often. Do it NOW!

Now, anyone that knows me…knows I smile ALL the time. I really try very hard to keep that smile going no matter what is going on in my personal life. It keeps me in the attitude of gratitude. Well…about a few years ago I was driving and took a peek in the mirror. My face was frowning, my body was tense. WHAT…is that what I looked like when I drive? YIKES.

So my experiment began. Every time I had a moment of driving, thinking, working… you know just being…I would stop and do a face check.

NO I did not carry a mirror around. I would just do a body scan. Much to my surprise…My thinking, driving and working face had a mini frown…a my mind is on LOADS of things thinking mini frown. OK….WHAT TO DO. That is when I place action in front of my frown. I started catching those frowns and replacing them with smiles.

Now, that doesn’t mean that you have to walk around with a silly grin on your face all of the time. But smile as you walk down the street, when you talk to someone, even when you look in the mirror at yourself. You will be surprised at how better you will feel for it, and it will project a positive image to all others – one that will attract opportunities and people.

- Remember that confident people are happy people and negative people are not.
- Happy people are also seen as more attractive than unhappy and sad people so that is an added bonus!

You know, the way that we communicate in our appearance, posture, gesture, gaze and expression can be such a powerful tool in the way that we feel and when communicating with others.

The manner in which you communicate and your interpersonal skills are also very important indeed.
Effective communication is vital if you are going to succeed no matter what you are doing. The way in which we communicate with people is broken down into component parts, and it is popularly believed that people to whom we are speaking understand what we say by interpreting these different elements in varying proportions:

  • VERBAL 7% of our message is interpreted from the words we use.
  • VOCAL  38% is picked up from our voice – speed, tone, pitch, rhythm etc
  • VISUAL 55% is what the other person sees – our body language

I teach classes and workshops on this very subject, but here are some quick fixes and recommendations that you should start to put into practice:

* Dress to win – Look at your appearance and ask yourself:
o Do I feel confident?
o Do I look confident?
o What could I do with my appearance to give me the edge?

* Handshakes – Never give a limp wrist handshake, make sure it is firm but not too hard
* Smile a lot more than you have been doing – even if you are a comedian!
* Walk tall with your head and shoulders back. Walk at a brisk pace
* When you talk to people look them straight in the eye
* Keep on moving – Motion creates what?
* If you are ever feeling down, Do a body scan, flee and fill. Even if it has to be false – ” Act as if and go as though” YOU WILL start to feel better and more confident immediately.
* First impressions count – so when you are going to meet people for the first time, think what first impression you ant to give them. A smiling face? A good remark? Etc
* Take more notice of others body language. You can normally tell what others are feeling by the way that they are moving and using their body too. You can use this to your advantage when you are more aware of it.

These techniques will help you communicate with your prospects and clients on a more personal level. When you are on appointments and open houses you will be able to read deeper into people’s actions.

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Making a Great First Impression

Posted on 04/05/2009 by admin

According to scientists, the first impression is formed in the first 7 seconds. Another study shows that 93 percent of the first impression is formed by our appearance, gestures, face expressions, etc. and only 7 percent – by what we say. Here are some seemingly little things that can make a big difference in how other people see you.

Proper posture is important

Body language tells a lot about your mood, personality and confidence. For example, slouching gives the impression of insecurity. You must always stand upright, if you want to convey the message that you are a strong, confident, deserving individual.

Handshake

The handshake is indicative of your personality. A loose handshake can be considered to be a sign of weakness or levity, while a firm handshake is typically associated with strength of character. So to create a good impression there are three rules you need to remember: right hand, a complete grip and a firm squeeze (but not too strong). Last but not least- make sure your palm is dry. This is pretty much valid for both sexes.

Be on time

If you are late for a meeting, you will certainly create a bad impression. In some cultures being late is regarded as a personal offense; it shows lack of respect. So you should arrive 10 minutes earlier in case something unexpected happens.

Listen to others

Let the other person finish speaking even if you want to interrupt them. In this way you will show your respect for this person, even though you may disagree on certain issues. You wouldn’t like it yourself if somebody is constantly interrupting you.

Be careful with the jokes

Breaking the ice with a joke is a perfect way to make a good impression, but don’t go overboard with it. If you don’t know a person well enough be careful not to step off the wrong foot. A seemingly innocent joke for you may hit a sensitive topic for somebody else.

Smile

There’s nothing more effective than a smile to create a good first impression. A friendly and confident smile will put everybody at ease. So smiling can do wonders when it comes to great first impressions. But don’t go overboard with this – people who take this too far can seem insincere and moody.

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Grants for Women

Posted on 03/07/2009 by admin

Women’s Business Grants are numerous, but many women are not aware of all of the
offerings available to them. Some of the business grants that are available are just for women.
There are so many options not only for just to own or maintain a business, but, also to help with schooling to help you with your business. This can help with you bettering yourself to maintain the business.

Let us check on some of the growing list of Women’s business Grants. The lists go on and on so we will be able to just touch briefly on some of the offerings. They offer varied options of grants and other help to create, maintain, and run the best business that you can.

Grant applications and be hard to understand, so you need to use some of the groups below to give you suggestions and help with all of the forms.  Using the correct form and meeting the stated qualifications will get you that grant you so much need.

o Small Business Administration – The SBA comes up every day with more options for women who have enough obstacles in starting and running a business.
o Count-Me-In – This is a new fundraising group that has woman collect money to give to other women. Experience is looked at instead of credit report to give grants. The CEO of this organization is the one that started bring your daughter to work day.
o Federal Money Retriever – This program offers software that contains a large database of Federal Government grant programs available to women.
o The Women’s Funding Network – They have a program that promotes the development and growth of women.
o NBC Supplier diversity program Website – This is not so much as funding organization but a specialty organization to help both women and minority owned businesses.
o American Association of University Women – this foundation was founded and is one of the largest private sources of funding for graduate women in the world. They also support scholars around the globe, teachers, and activists in local communities. Also funding exists for women at critical stages of their careers.
o Te ADA project for Women (TAP) -Includes information on conferences, discussion groups, grants, fellowships for women.
o Grants for Women that look at state by state options.
o The Asia Foundation – Government and Law
o The Astraea National Lesbian Action foundation – Source of financial support for business that are lesbian run or lesbian focused.
o Avon Productions Foundation – Supports organizations for women and girls
o Business and professional Women Foundation – Supports women with help for extra schooling.
o The Liz Claiborne Foundation -Grants for nonprofit groups run by women or for women.

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Women in Business

Posted on 10/02/2008 by admin

The opportunities women business owners face today have never been greater
…as well as the challenges. Today’s economy demands that you have
nothing less than targeted market strategies and the ability to quickly
implement and execute on your plans. Making these tough business
decisions in isolation without having the right information and resources
can cost you time, money and frankly isn’t very much fun.

FusionWorks invites you to learn more about the FusionWorks Leadership
Learning Groups the surprisingly affordable, high value way to access
business knowledge, executive level coaching and organiational development
expertise to help you find inspired solutions that will propel you, your
leadership and your organization to the next level.

The FusionWorks approach enables you to create your version of success by
applying our best practices and strategic alliances. Whether you need
personalized guidance to solve a specific problem in your business or the
support of a group of like-minded and remarkably skilled colleagues to
help you work a difficult issue, you’ll find the long sought after support
and solutions you need at FusionWorks.

FusionWorks invites you to sample for yourself the ingredients of how the
combination of diverse business expertise, proven experience, and
strategic allies make a compelling business success cocktail. One that can
make your journey of running a winning business a whole lot more fun,
productive, and rewarding.

Speakers: FusionWorks founders Karen Steckler, CPCC and Diane Grayson.

Curious? Register for one of our informational open houses.

About FusionWorks Alliance:
FusionWorks Alliance (FWA) is an extraordinary organization of
accomplished business women who are fiercely committed to supporting high
achieving women business owners and getting them faster on the road to
lasting and satisfying business and life success.

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